7 October 2014

the stress is killing me...

Right, I struggle to say things out loud, so it's best I explain through this blog. I've been under such a lot of stress recently.

  • I'm really stressing about my GCSEs, which are only months away!
  • I'm trying to juggle extra time at school after 3.30 every week to stay for my AS level. Coursework starts in a couple of weeks, so I'll be drowning in that before long.
  • My mocks are in December and I'm frantically trying to revise for them.
  • I'm struggling to get to dance classes on time through the sheer amount of homework  I have to do.
  • I think I've more or less lost one of my closest friends, so I'm pretty bummed about that now.
  • I'm doing extra stretching sessions in my very short 'relaxing' time, but more rececently it's become 'revision and stretch' time.
  • I have at least two exams a week, and that's pretty stressful in itself.
  • I'm not getting enough sleep. I'm trying my very hardest to sleep, but it's just not working. I guess my brain is far too busy.
  • Trying to keep up to date with this blog.
  • I hardly have enough time to even make contact with my friends. Sucks.

Now, to everyone else, these things may seem extremely trivial, especially as I'm finally getting into the real world, and everyone else has much larger problems than I do. But these things are all so important to me, so I'm trying my hardest to fit everything in and it's not quite working.

And because of these, I'm getting very snappy at everyone; I constantly seem to be in a bad mood, and when talking to people, or even writing on the blog, I seem to be saying things I don't mean. At least, I'm not explaining them properly.

I get so caught up in the moment and writing really helps me to just get it out, so my head can feel a bit lighter again. I guess I just haven't been thinking about anyone else recently and have just been trying to make my 'burden' a little lighter, and that's so selfish of me, and I hate it so much.

It's all becoming a lot now; I'm doing too much. I think I may break soon if I don't do something. Or I'm going to have to leave something behind in the wayside. And that will have to be some form of dance, I guess. School is a priority until I get my grades, as much as I hate that idea, it's true. I love dance and my school more than anything, but GCSEs come first.

Please, God, help me, and I will repay you. I don't mean to hurt anyone, and this is really hard to admit I'm doing wrong but I am, and all I want to do is fix it.



  1. I hope you're okay,you will do well in your exams. Good luck! If you need to talk, you know I'm always here :)

  2. Thanks Ice, means a lot! :) x